In a very real sense the last two weeks have been groundbreakingly shit and I needed to let them be shit without feeling the need to explain to all the facebook “see you soon” crowd. It was the second Pre-op Assesment. The first one since the NHS realised that I had fallen off the surgery list. We’re going through it wonderfully well, the doc tells me what is required, what he will do and what it will mean…all looking great until I take my BP. It’s too high. A weekend of booze will do that, but the Nurse says nothing needs to be “on hold” just yet and if I lower the numbers I won’t have to postpone it another month.

Without boring you all, I do the tests, the readings lower and as of writing this (3rd Feb) the readings were lowering. Great news, and just reward for me coz I’ve been so well behaved food wise recently I’ve put myself to sleep with the menu. Turns out, it was all for nothing because the Nurse told us yesterday that she expected them to lower more (she hadn’t told us that, just lower them to below a number, which they were).

Result = Simon has to go on different medication, and the operation is on hold until that medication takes effect. In a month and a half, all being well, I’ll be sent for Pre-Op Assesment number three and the whole merry dance will start again. One very pissed off Glittermonkey. I think that if you ask for results below a certain level, and you get them over the next fortnight, you shouldn’t then change your mind and postpone anway! Think about the people that have been down this road for it seems like well over a year, everyone involved.

I want this operation, this time we were so bloody close I thought for a second that I had jumped through all their hoops. I hadn’t. Cue more tests, more doctors, and a few more hurdles before they do their thing.

Fortunately for them, I do hurdles, that’s my bag baby… I won’t lie it took a day of feeling like shit when I found out but I’m back on it now and I’m not about to let some NHS pen pusher keep denying me. I have one goal this year, and this is it…so Operation Twinkletoes is on. My ankle will be fixed. It will stop hurting. It will look normal and the NHS, well they shall eat my dust….or glitter!

Peace, Love and Soul – Moulty x

Photograph © 2010 Hulahoop Inc

Alright all? It’s been a while since I felt ready to tackle the goings on here on Planet Glitter and this is the first time I’ve had to speak about the Birthday party that I had in January. It was, in a word…AWESOME. It just goes to show that, even for me, people can turn up and have a bazzin time. I sincerely hope everyone had a great time. Yours truly, well, I was kinda there for the afternoon portion of the festivities and somewhat less so as we got to the evening so for Rhi, Becky, Bhav, Vikki and Diane, well, erm…the lights were on and someone was home… just.

I remember obsessing over the new sofa… “it’ll WIPE CLEAN don’t worry”, I heard that a lot. It was absolutely out of this world to see everyone there. Most of the people I wanted there had turned up and you can’t ask for more than that, when the shit hit the fan at various points it was these people that had / have / and will help me through. For anyone that didn’t manage to make it, there’s a 30th in a couple of years so worry not.

Holly made punch that started off blue, then green, went brown at some points too..and then was cheeky vimto.. it was quite spectacular. Vikki nearly knocked me out with her lethal home brew, I remember sending a few leading texts to one person in particular, it’s okay Wardle…I was joking. You need to make sure you do get out from under that thumb at some point though even if it isn’t for my party.

Lastly I remember launching on to the sofa so that Taz could have her customary drive in my wheelchair… I stayed on the sofa for a while coz my legs didn’t seem to want to move. That, and my nails were fabulous and needed a break from the chair.

REALLY big thanks to everyone who came, it meant so very very much.

Photographs © 2010 Hulahoop Inc

Greetings! Moulty towers is once again buried in snow. It’s gone way past being nice, and festive and is starting to be a pain in the arse. Tesco, I’m looking in your direction. If postie’s can get to me, and takeaway can get to me then you can see why I’m slightly peturbed by the blanket descision to stop all trucks, “we might deliver tomorrow night”. There you have it, the Tesco boffins expect the snow situation to improve tomorrow night between the hours of 7 and 9pm. One, as she said, is not amused.

Pre-Op Assesment Monday 25th January 2010.

In other news, every appointment I had this week has been cancelled. Crackin’!

Build a snow queen for me, someone.
In a bit

Moultyx

21st of January. That’s the one. Tell your friends. Or more specifically, tell my friends. Then barring swine flu, emergency ops, accompanying scumbag boyfriends to hospital, more swine flu, and a little unexpected violence, I should be seeing some of you lovely people very very soon.

Going into 2010 I know who my friends are. The good ones are plenty, the close ones are few and that’s the way it should be. Someday soon the phone call will come and I’ll be whisked away for a bit, so that a delicious doctor can perform acts upon me. When that happens, I’ll be rather quiet, but I know who I can count on to be around when the Doctor finishes. I’m going into this year with the most self certainty I’ve  ever had. I know about myself, and I know who is around me. That’s all I need to know.

I wish you all that you would wish yourself…and a little Peace, Love and Glitter on the side!

Moulty x

PS – I put this picture in because it made my Christmas this year. This thing had nine people around it, for various reasons it looked unlikely that nine people would be there so for that alone it is immense. Most people make their table look like this before Christnas dinner right? My mum keeps it looking like this all year round. It’s worth moving one of the mats just slightly each time you pass the table, just to see if she notices…. and she does!

Welcome to 2010, everyone. Dunno about you but it looks a lot like 2009. May the new year bring you everything that you want it to, blah blah blah… I do really mean that. I do hope everyone has a great year, but I’m still getting new year texts off people who sent them at midnight on the dot and found their network jammed!

I learned a lot this Christmas. I learnt that having both my grandparents around the dinner table is something we should not take for granted, even when Nanna Grotbags has drooled on her second sausage and most of her mash has ended up in her lap. I also learned that Elliot looks adorable when he is eating his mashed potato and when he realises you are giggling at him for rubbing it in his hair, he does it more.

The 5 funniest things that happened this Christmas

1. Elliot wearing mashed potato, while at the oposite end of life’s ladder, one Nanna Moult wore her food too!

2. Nanna Kelly rediscovering her mouth and keeping everyone in stitches with her comments, she is loving life again I can tell you.

3. Me thrashing Dad at Wii tennis and then Mum thrashing him at bowling the same night.

4. Playing with the wind up Grannies I bought my brother, Nanna Moult v Nanna Kelly.

5. Me opting to spend New Year alone, splashing around in a pink bubble bath (thanks, Lush) singing at the top of my voice. Good times!

Happy December everyone!

Between ever increasingly personal therefore shitty therapy, and ever increasingly painful therefore shitty ankle issues I was chatted up recently. I think you could even call it pursued. In fact, yes, let’s call it pursued… By a man who thought he could capitalise on three of my loves – Manchester, Hotels and Shopping. He threw them all in over the course of several conversations and drinks and would have been more than a passing story on this kick ass blog had it not been for his age.

I’m not saying he was old, but he had dibs on Noah’s spare seat on the Ark until the second kangaroo turned up. Denied!

Peace, Love and Disco – Moulty x

Regular readers and followers of yours truly will know that myself and the Tesco Chef have been doing a dance for about 2 months. He is lush. He is quite frankly the only reason anyone should go to the Tesco cafe, and he has rescued many a shitty Monday for me, just by being pretty to look at.

Well today dear friends, Tasty Tesco Chef spoke to me. Actual words. Not just a smile and a nod and getting my drink ready before I even get to the counter to ask for it…

I was wearing the most gorgeousist jumper ever, perfect for pulling off the pretty damn cute and cold look and it took a second cappuccino and some kind of chocolate marshmallow biscuit thing, but who cares… what we talked about was hardly earth-shaking either, it was about the weather (he brought that up, not me…) and I told him how mad Polish cleaner woman had kicked me out of my bed at stupid o’clock this morning.

He made some crack about the sane choice being to ignore the door buzzer and stay in bed… I can’t quite remember because at that point I was having a chat with God to ensure that TCC was either homosexual or at the very least confused (I wasn’t picky, see? Ain’t I a peach!). At the moment I was asking for more signs, he tries to look super cool and throw a till roll into a bin that was absolutely no distance from him. Would have been cool as fuck if it’d gone in. He missed. We both laughed. Twas funny!

Did I mention that he winked at me? All hail the cute jumper!

I drank my coffee, smiled a lot, ate the marshmallow chocolate thingymebob and then remembered I dislike marshmallow and chocolate dislikes me… I don’t care. I left smiling the biggest smile ever.

The price of a smile, a wink and a chat with TTC

FACTS – Cute in uniform, can’t throw to save his life, cooks and gives me coffee before I even ask for it. Got his number (downside, it was the Tesco number on the receipt).

Research continues next week.

PS. Inspired by our beloved leader, Mr Gordon Brown, I’ve checked and re-checked this piece for spelling errors!

Peace,  Love and Soul – Moultyx

"Quitting's out of the question!"

1. Fight For This Love – Cheryl Cole  (1) Second week at number one in the shower tune chart. Coz it works!
2. The Gambler – Kenny Rogers (2) This one continues to baffle me but the stats don’t lie!
3. Hot N Cold – Katy Perry (3) Good chooooon Ms Perry, that album refuses to die. She releases MTV Unplugged this month though so look out for that.
4. The Loving Kind – Girls Aloud (6) Dreams that glitter…
5. We Built This City – Starship (4) Down one place to 5 but it’s a feel good classic and might stick around
6. 3 Words – Cheryl Cole This will be released in December. It’s a grower with a touch of Black Eyed magic.
7. Heaven – Cheryl Cole (23) No wonder this made a massive leap. It’s been in my head and should be in yours too. Tune’s good, lyrics are all lovey dovey but I can forgive that.
8. Boys and Girls – Pixie Lott (13) Blame this on needing music when you get ready for a night out.
9. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry (12) Shake the glitter….
10. Paparazzi – Lady Gaga (5) I think this one stuck around coz I saw the V performance. Down 5 places tho…

Nearly but not quite…

• 13. I Kissed a Girl – Katy Perry (11) Down two for the anthem ’straightened out’ by Lloyd in X Factor
• 14. One of the Boys – Katy Perry (9) Down five but still around. A song about being pretty and sparkly YAY
• 24. Boyfriend – Alphabeat (25) Up one coz someone thought it was funny to dedicate this song to me after Pride. No more shall be said about this. If you were around at the time, you already know!
• 25. Call the Shots – Girls Aloud Pulled this one back from nowhere and it sounds mega before you go out.
• 26. Take Your Mama – Scissor Sisters
• 28. Sweet Home Alabama – Lyn Skyn (27) Down one, catchy and reminds me of the film and J Lu. Yum!
• 29. Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble (36) Slow and steady progress for the gorgeously bouncy happy song, ruined slightly by the video and the girl he sings to. He sings it to me, in my mind he does!
• 30. Meet Me Halfway – Black Eyed Peas NEW ENTRY coz it makes ya dance. Will be huge!
• 38. Cry Me A River – Michael Buble NEW ENTRY It’s a catchy ‘I don’t care about you so ner’ kinda song.
• 39. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon RE-ENTRY coz it reminds me of people. hehe xx
• 41. Remedy – Little Boots (37) Ooops it’s slipping down the chart. Still a stonking choon though.
• 44. Music is the Victim – Scissor Sisters  NEW -Jakey’s second appearance of four. Pre-going out track!
• 45. Rock With You – Michael Jackson NEW- MJ  doubters need to discover Off The Wall. When he was good he was very very good, Funky. This track does it all.
• 49. I Don’t Feel Like Dancing – Scissor Sisters NEW  funny how a song about sitting down, fills the dancefloor! And with help from Elton too…
• 50. I Can’t Decide – Scissor Sisters Another with the stubborn theme. Used in Dr Who with John Simm too.

Until next week I’ll leave you with this… Taio Cruz contributed ‘Stand Up’ to Cheryl’s album. Her management had first refusal on a song that he wrote especially for her but he ended up taking it back. That song?  ‘Break Your Heart’, damn record company executives…. most unglittery move of the month!

Don't we have the best listeners, sending pics like this in? Creepy and stalkerish yes?

1. Fight For This Love – Cheryl Cole. People will say what they like. Great single. And she gets ’sick’ and ‘picnic’ said with attitude. Fab!
2. The Gambler – Kenny Rogers Blame the Office US and Steve Carrell for this one, beautiful though!
3. Hot N Cold – Katy Perry Pretty ironic for a shower music play list.
4. We Built This City – Starship Admittedly a bit of cheese, and factually incorrect if you listen to the words. But damn it’s bouncey and feel good.
5. Paparazzi – Lady Gaga
6. The Loving Kind – Girls Aloud This was number one for AGES, Zenomania do it again. Beware they are working with Mini Viva now. She left her heart in Tokyo… silly girl.
7. Never Forget You – The Noisettes I know this is modern but it sounds all old and souly and I like it.
8. Don’t Stop Believing – Journey And the cheese just keeps on comin’, takes a while to get going this song. It’s a great song but not a Shower Music classic. Expect it to drop next month!
9. One of the Boys – Katy Perry
10. Love in the First Degree – Banarama I was on the balcony of the VIP area at Manchester Pride with this lad on my knee screaming that all he wanted to hear was “Guilty as a Girl Could Be”, they insisted on throwing ‘new’ stuff at us and eventually played this and VENUS (at the request of a drunk drag queen in the front row). Ah the memories….from what I can remember!

• 11. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry I read something this week that blamed Poptastic in Canal St for drumming this into our heads over the past year. I quite agree. I kissed a girl too, was nice. Didn’t do much for me though.
• 13. Boys and Girls – Pixie Lott
• 14. The Chase - KANE (Christian Kane) Now that Chris is a big star about to release a proper record, his first album has been deleted but if you’re a lil bit country and a lil bit rock n roll… this is a good album to get. Otherwise catch him as Lindsay McDonald in ‘Angel’ or his new US TV thing.
• 18. Footloose – Kenny Loggins This is a great shower song and I’m shocked it’s not higher… la Bacon. Bad film. Good song. Kenny Loggins was a bit of a hit maker for 80’s films wasn’t he…ah. Pure cheese!
• 22. Philadelphia Freedom – Elton John This list would not be complete without the presence of the Queen of England. This is a choon and a half.
• 23. Heaven – Cheryl Cole Stand out track of the debut album of our Cheryl. It’s trancey, good vocal… and a bit of Black Eyed Pea magic in their too.
• 24. Condemnation - Depeche Mode
• 27. Sweet Home Alabama – Lyn Skyn It’s the opening riff man, all about that opening!
• 28. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas A reminder of the best week of my life ever, this song has Manchester Pride 09 all over it. Bouncing along to the rappy bit and everyone knowing the words? Fabulous!
• 36. Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble He sings, have you heard him talk? Have you seen him? Phwoar! Give this a listen and I swear you will be smiling a bigger smile…if not I want to know why!
• 37. Remedy – Little Boots Another Pride 09 reminder, everyone went crazy for this and it was hammered by the DJ, sung live by LB herself and played to death by me at the time so no wonder it’s slipped lower now.
• 45. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now – the Smiths Get well soon Moz!

Speaking of brain damage, I was most dismayed  this week to find something in my own house that is difficult for me to do.

Now, I’ve been around about 27 years and I’ve been stubborn for just as long and the upshot of that is never ever knowing that I was beaten. I’d go round to friends houses when I was younger and I’d wonder why they had handles around their houses to help them walk, and I didn’t. I rode around in the stupidest looking bike thing when I was really young at school and wondered why I wasn’t allowed to take it home to use when my teacher said I could. The reason is my parents, they didn’t want me turning into someone that could only do something in the right circumstances. As a result, my house was normal. I used to hate the social people coming round telling me and my parents how this change here and that adaption there would make it all ok. Despite my own council, yes Bury Council, telling my parents I’d never cope in a mainstream normal school… I did. That same council told my mum I’d never graduate. She told the counsellor that she could expect an invite in the year 2003. Surprisingly enough, a representitive of Bury Council did not make an appearance at the Graduation Party that I had.

People doubted that I could cope at University, but by that point luckily no-one close to me did. In fact my parents moved to a bigger house to build me a downstairs bedroom and an accessible bathroom when I began to struggle with stairs… I was there for one year  before University called!

Impossible is nothing. There’s ways around everything. If you can’t reach the cupboards, put cupboardy stuff in the kitchen draws that you can reach… if no one is giving you a job writing about football or music or on the radio, then damn it DO IT YERSELF!…

So if I want to put glittery nail polish on my toes? Then fuck me, I’ll find a a way! None of that boys don’t do girly nails bollocks… this boy does! I did fall out of my wheelchair doing it though, so I’ve tried thinking of my fellow wheeled warriors (the girl ones) to ask their tips on how they do it,  but the fact is, most people in wheelchairs bore me and they drool… so I don’t know that many.

Anyone have any better ideas on how I’d apply polish? There is an adorable glitter monkey right here that would like to know!

Now that you have finished reading this, pop on over to Maxi and tell her I sent you… CLICK HERE