It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m planning on it being fun. That’s quite a simple sentence, but it’s true all the same. Most of today blew chunks so if you see life as a see saw then tomorrow should be off the scale with glittery fabness.

I was told today that I’m quite a difficult person to be friends with. This person was kindly “doing me a favour” in pointing out that I would struggle in the world because I “talk colourfully” and life is about nuts and bolts. They were talking to me about how I was a “fantastical” person probably because I lacked things to anchor me in real life. “I’m more concerned with my children, their school, my work, I have real problems. You talk about things being shiny, not shiny, nail polish and these things and I don’t think you exist in real life.” At which point I was deleted from the social networks and told that if we were to see each other again, I’d probably get a “hello”.

Here’s a newsflash. Real life is pants sometimes, but television mostly rocks. Existing in real life is crap sometimes. There are people you don’t like that you have to see lots of and there are people you do like that you don’t see enough of. If you are VERY VERY lucky you find yourself people who you love and who are going to go through the whole life thing together. THEN, you get more of  real life putting a smile on your face. It makes you smile, you make someone else smile and you wake up the next morning and it happens again. Smiles for miles!

You do that, you’ll win the game a few times.

Today, three people made me genuinely smile. I told two of them that I loved them, I mean it. I was informed that I had passed my psychotherapy assessment and I’m fit for loopy group. This made me smile because I still don’t know if “passed” is the right word.

It’ll be fun finding out!

I voted for the hobnob (with chocolate for the heavier weeks). I would have voted for custard creme but I disappoint myself if I break them whilst trying to split them in two. This is a minefield I wish to avoid.

Peace, Love and Glitter – Simon xx

 Elliot’s GTF debut (I have to get creative with my pics of him coz we don’t allow pictures really). This horse is magic, it crawls all over the sofas, flies, and roars like a lion…. if you have a problem with that take it up with Elliot. I taught him the ‘Bad Horse’ song from Dr Horrible… hehe

 I was freaked out by tea stains on my mugs (mostly the white ones) and one morning this stress and bicarbonate of soda turned into mug wars… I’m going to win because look at these three. Spike, the rainbow (hehe) and JD… and if that’s not enough to win mug wars…

 Mug wars round two takes the prize surely. That Kenny mug survived University, GIRLFRIENDS, living with my parents and living in Liverpool and it’s still good as new! If that doesn’t win you over then Back to the Future should do… and everyone’s favourite witches!

 Mug wars indeed took off and the parents decided they could take the prize. The Mum-pire Strikes back with this effort… very mum! I love this mug. I would think it is enough to win the war because all the other candidates in their house have brew stains that even Barry Scott couldn’t remove.

Mug wars is not over. I’m told my friend Nia from Wales has some to contribute. The winner, such as it is, will be announced when I’ve had enough I presume.

Nia is of the belief that the more stained the inside of the cup is, the better the tea tastes. I do not subscribe to this although in a bout of mug rasicim, it does taste better from white mugs.

If you feel you can compete with a rapidly competitive group…go ahead. Provide pics and get in touch!  Game ON!

Casey McCall: Hey, you wanna get involved with this?
Dan Rydell: I so don’t.
Casey McCall: You used to care about these things.
Dan Rydell: Yes.
Casey McCall: And it wasn’t that long ago that you did.
Dan Rydell: No.
Casey McCall: I mean, it was, like, yesterday.
Dan Rydell: Right.
Casey McCall: Now, when I say “yesterday”, I am not speaking metaphorically. I mean, it was yesterday. What happened to your values?
Dan Rydell: I find that maintaining them is a lot of work. I take a day off every now and then.
Casey McCall: You take a vacation from doing the right thing?
Dan Rydell: Yeah. I don’t loot storefronts or anything, but once in a while, when I consider the effort it takes to diligently adhere to a moral compass, I take myself out of the lineup and I rest for the next game.
Casey McCall: I swear, you can run for congress and win.

Alright all? It’s been a while since I felt ready to tackle the goings on here on Planet Glitter and this is the first time I’ve had to speak about the Birthday party that I had in January. It was, in a word…AWESOME. It just goes to show that, even for me, people can turn up and have a bazzin time. I sincerely hope everyone had a great time. Yours truly, well, I was kinda there for the afternoon portion of the festivities and somewhat less so as we got to the evening so for Rhi, Becky, Bhav, Vikki and Diane, well, erm…the lights were on and someone was home… just.

I remember obsessing over the new sofa… “it’ll WIPE CLEAN don’t worry”, I heard that a lot. It was absolutely out of this world to see everyone there. Most of the people I wanted there had turned up and you can’t ask for more than that, when the shit hit the fan at various points it was these people that had / have / and will help me through. For anyone that didn’t manage to make it, there’s a 30th in a couple of years so worry not.

Holly made punch that started off blue, then green, went brown at some points too..and then was cheeky vimto.. it was quite spectacular. Vikki nearly knocked me out with her lethal home brew, I remember sending a few leading texts to one person in particular, it’s okay Wardle…I was joking. You need to make sure you do get out from under that thumb at some point though even if it isn’t for my party.

Lastly I remember launching on to the sofa so that Taz could have her customary drive in my wheelchair… I stayed on the sofa for a while coz my legs didn’t seem to want to move. That, and my nails were fabulous and needed a break from the chair.

REALLY big thanks to everyone who came, it meant so very very much.

Photographs © 2010 Hulahoop Inc

Regular readers and followers of yours truly will know that myself and the Tesco Chef have been doing a dance for about 2 months. He is lush. He is quite frankly the only reason anyone should go to the Tesco cafe, and he has rescued many a shitty Monday for me, just by being pretty to look at.

Well today dear friends, Tasty Tesco Chef spoke to me. Actual words. Not just a smile and a nod and getting my drink ready before I even get to the counter to ask for it…

I was wearing the most gorgeousist jumper ever, perfect for pulling off the pretty damn cute and cold look and it took a second cappuccino and some kind of chocolate marshmallow biscuit thing, but who cares… what we talked about was hardly earth-shaking either, it was about the weather (he brought that up, not me…) and I told him how mad Polish cleaner woman had kicked me out of my bed at stupid o’clock this morning.

He made some crack about the sane choice being to ignore the door buzzer and stay in bed… I can’t quite remember because at that point I was having a chat with God to ensure that TCC was either homosexual or at the very least confused (I wasn’t picky, see? Ain’t I a peach!). At the moment I was asking for more signs, he tries to look super cool and throw a till roll into a bin that was absolutely no distance from him. Would have been cool as fuck if it’d gone in. He missed. We both laughed. Twas funny!

Did I mention that he winked at me? All hail the cute jumper!

I drank my coffee, smiled a lot, ate the marshmallow chocolate thingymebob and then remembered I dislike marshmallow and chocolate dislikes me… I don’t care. I left smiling the biggest smile ever.

FACTS – Cute in uniform, can’t throw to save his life, cooks and gives me coffee before I even ask for it. Got his number (downside, it was the Tesco number on the receipt).

Research continues next week.

PS. Inspired by our beloved leader, Mr Gordon Brown, I’ve checked and re-checked this piece for spelling errors!

Peace,  Love and Soul – Moultyx

Speaking of brain damage, I was most dismayed  this week to find something in my own house that is difficult for me to do.

Now, I’ve been around about 27 years and I’ve been stubborn for just as long and the upshot of that is never ever knowing that I was beaten. I’d go round to friends houses when I was younger and I’d wonder why they had handles around their houses to help them walk, and I didn’t. I rode around in the stupidest looking bike thing when I was really young at school and wondered why I wasn’t allowed to take it home to use when my teacher said I could. The reason is my parents, they didn’t want me turning into someone that could only do something in the right circumstances. As a result, my house was normal. I used to hate the social people coming round telling me and my parents how this change here and that adaption there would make it all ok. Despite my own council, yes Bury Council, telling my parents I’d never cope in a mainstream normal school… I did. That same council told my mum I’d never graduate. She told the counsellor that she could expect an invite in the year 2003. Surprisingly enough, a representitive of Bury Council did not make an appearance at the Graduation Party that I had.

People doubted that I could cope at University, but by that point luckily no-one close to me did. In fact my parents moved to a bigger house to build me a downstairs bedroom and an accessible bathroom when I began to struggle with stairs… I was there for one year  before University called!

Impossible is nothing. There’s ways around everything. If you can’t reach the cupboards, put cupboardy stuff in the kitchen draws that you can reach… if no one is giving you a job writing about football or music or on the radio, then damn it DO IT YERSELF!…

So if I want to put glittery nail polish on my toes? Then fuck me, I’ll find a a way! None of that boys don’t do girly nails bollocks… this boy does! I did fall out of my wheelchair doing it though, so I’ve tried thinking of my fellow wheeled warriors (the girl ones) to ask their tips on how they do it,  but the fact is, most people in wheelchairs bore me and they drool… so I don’t know that many.

Anyone have any better ideas on how I’d apply polish? There is an adorable glitter monkey right here that would like to know!

Now that you have finished reading this, pop on over to Maxi and tell her I sent you… CLICK HERE

Twitter and Facebook saved my sanity again this week. Last week I had to endure a very hard family lunch that litterally ripped everything out of me. All the therapy in the world was available and my lovely friends continue to be a tower of strength but someone new came out of the wood work. I don’t know where she has been hiding but for fabulous glittermonkeys with insomnia she is a Goddess send because accidentally we ended up putting the world to rights into the early hours a few times this week and I owe her A LOT.

I actually had the pleasure of talking through her shoe collection for hours and I have to say it did me the world of good. I cannot say enough good things about her and that goes for all the other close friends I have too. I’m finally getting to grips with who I am and you are all there making sure I’m lovin’ the trip!

Maxime started a blog this week, and I am proud of her and her use of glitter and glitter related fabness in her own online world. I urge you all to read it now, and in the future. She is a deeply fabulous person and she deserves whatever she wants, as do we all.

READ IT HERE

You are all under orders to have a great weekend!

Peace, Love, Soul and Glitter Moulty x

This week I’ve been mostly back on the therapy roundabout and for those keeping score we still have no date for my operation. So I’m still tied to the  postbox and phone…any day now. My therapist came up with a classic today, “every day it doesn’t happen is one closer to when it does!”. No comment.

Other than that I’ve been watching television. Whoever it was at E4 that decided to put Running With Heels and RuPaul’s Drag Race back to back on Tuesday nights needs a medal. Loving those shows! I know a lot of the humour or our reaction to stuff is based on editing but the bits last week with the girl not knowing how to open the door to leave the office. Funny! We’ve all been there, hell, I go to the same three offices each week and without fail I always push the door to leave even though it says pull…

RuPaul’s Drag Race is, well, the best thing on television and completely makes up for those old women moaning about wheely bins in that documentary! How some people get out of bed in the morning I don’t know. If the most disastrous thing they have to complain about is a green wheely bin making their road look ugly, then they should move to Liverpool…when I lived there I remember they had to be painted pink so as not to offend either Liverpool or Everton fans!

This Morning is back on our screens this week and we all know about Phillip Schofield’s new co-host. I saw Monday’s show and thought Holly was fab. You could say she’s still getting us out of bed, but it’s a million miles difference from the Saturday morning shows. I like it when a presenter has an attack of the giggles, it involves you in the joke. It’s only been two days but the glamour police can stay away from the TM set, both Phil and Holly are bright as new pennies every day. To be a fly on the wall of wardrobe meetings would I think be a fine fine thing, all those suits, dresses, shoes…YES I KNOW, TICK BOXES blah blah blah… I’m sorry! I like clothes, what can I do?

I’m in therapy to learn to love all parts of my make up (not make-up, before you start), so you know, love me…love my interests.

The Sky Sports News people should take note. When Simon Thomas giggles on there he’s all formal and you know for a fact that behind the footage of the goal, or the put, or the car crossing the line at a really fast speed, he and his co-host are trying to stay on task. And we never find out why they are laughing!

Simon Thomas used to present on Blue Peter, so maybe the formal is baked in. Phil used to sit in a cupboard with a squeaking animal. Different approaches it’s true. I know which I prefer.

Lastly, Kanye West. What an ungracious, ill mannered, oaf of a cretin that man is. That was a huge moment for Taylor Swift, whether you agree with the result or not is neither here nor there, it was her moment. It didn’t need to be ruined by him, talking about Beyonce (who by the way looked horrified by his actions). Taylor Swift, bless her, looked close to tears I wanted someone to go and hug her. Cue the next day, everyone’s talking about Kanye instead of Taylor who did in fact win remember? What a classless tosser Mr West is. I hope when he goes home he has family to point out that it wasn’t the best thing to do.

Celebrities may have millions in the bank, but they are still more than capable of showing all the class of a prozzy with a needle and knock off jimmy choo shoes.

Whatever happens in life, and whatever we portray to everyone, our families cut us right down to size.

Anyway, enough babble. Off to find other ways to avoid therapy homework.

In a bit x

In the meantime – have this!

Onwards and sideways – Moultyx

I started the afternoon off in Tarus after being given the run around due to the need to collect my Pride pass from a hotel that the taxi couldn’t drop me off at. Complete mess. Anyway, I dragged the bell boy from the hotel over to canal street coz I told him I couldn’t make it the ’2 minute walk’ without killing myself in traffic. That puts me in Taurus, and I’m not there 5 minutes before Paul comes over and introduces himself and we sit there talking for about 90 minutes, it turns out he is a volunteer at the Ice Breakers Gay Group Therapy I signed up for, and he works with the LGF (lesbian gay foundation) too. Before long I spot a guy in a United top so I talk to him while I’m being served at the bar and he puts my first question to bed immediately by saying “Oh come on, as if I would wear a United shirt to Pride, I’m working hun!” – turns out he was the DJ.

It’s amazing how someone who has been completely destroyed and needs counselling and therapy and sometimes a long conversation witb friends just to get through the day, can be on top form in that environment. Without sounding corny, the Village does that to you. You end up meeting the most important people in your life, and you will know them for an entire five minutes to an hour and then they are gone.

I trolled round Canal Street in the downpour before making my way over to the Main Stage and trying out the portaloo. They are not made for wheelchair users. End of. Went into the VIP bit and it was all lit pink now, I’m sorry for anyone who might stop reading at this point but we all know I’m not the most man-ish man in the world and I does like me some camp adventure. Well I go in, and Girls Aloud is on and if that’s not a big flashing HELLO SIMON sign then I don’t know what is.

Lady Gaga, La Roux, Little Boots and Girls Aloud got verrrry good reactions from the crowd. There was a King and Queen contest with the winner leading the Parade tomorrow, and Bananarama! The Bananas’ were top stuff. Couldn’t give a crap about the new stuff they had to throw at us, everyone around me just wanted to hear two songs!  Once the newly duo singer band type thing had played Venus and Love in the Third Degree no-one gave a toss!

One of the bananas actually made me laugh when she said to a heckling drag queen who kept shouting for Venus - “OK OK it’s coming, are you going to do the dance routine with us? Thought not. Calm down, silly Goddess!” –

Met up with Taz after that, which was great coz I haven’t seen her in so long. No more drama to speak of till I remembered that I had forgotten to check the last tram time, for which a very very dear Twitter follower will remain a legend for helping with. Made the tram, got back to Bury and had to ask two complete strangers to help shift a homeless man asleep in the lift. I did in the end run over him slightly but I swear there was nothing I could do and the two that were with me told me he was out of it so it couldn’t be helped. I still am truly sorry.

Got back. Read that Noel had left Oasis. Devastated, and I mean that. I believed that the last gigs of the tour would lead to a band hiatus but not a permanent end. I will be more shocked as I have time to think about it but for now I just need sleep because I am at Albert Square, Manchesterford, tomorrow for the Parade.

Good night everyone, and the very special person without who’s help I wouldn’t have got home!

Peace, Love and Soul – Moultyx